Sleepy Day

Couldn't sleep last night, got so sick of it I ended up putting on TV and watching lots of Six Feet Under. Every time I watch it my favourite character changes, according to what mood I am in. At first Ruth was my favourite, for having spent her life trying, doing for her family who she doesn't know how to be herself with, and never giving up on new things and lovers even now. I love her for trying. But last night it was Clare, and David's relationship with Keith that I couldn't take my eyes off.

Today I am seeing everything in that hazy almost flurecent lit sleep deprived state, but on looking at my poems was amazed to find lines I felt was in one of them that isn't. I wrote some more lines, that I hope will help the poem that I know has something wrong with it. The poroblem with it is it is a poem where I have tried to create alot of stillness, silence, and there is probably more unsaid stuff in there than said stuff. The problem with this is knowing when you have put enought things in to convey the unsaid things, and when you just haven't put them in at all, or have said too much. This poem probably didn't give you enough to go on, hoping it does now, have submitted it for feedback so I'll find out in a few weeks.

Now I'm thinking about greeting cards. What the hell do you write in them? Am I the only one who hates writing in the damn things? I think I hate it for lots of reasons

1) The writer thing makes there a huge pressure to write something better than just Happy Birthday, Angela
2) The split between writer and person someone just knows as a friend, daughter, whatever, is there. So although the writer wants to write something writery, this person knows you as just my fat mate, the babysitter, so and so's girlfriend, so there is a huge question about who you are going to be
3) Who is the audience here? Cards are addressed to someone, but since they will be out on their mantelpiece they are in the public domain. What do I wanna write to this person that I am happy with an audience seeing, possibly including old ladies, children and spouses?
4) If you've been writing a birthday card to the same person for 20 years chances are there are no new things to say.

Funny, I like buying cards, looking at the pictures, but hate the other bit. Maybe I should start a new tradition of sending empty cards, help the recycling thing while I'm at it.

What do I write on this card for someone for their 40th birthday?

Congratulations! 40- Only 25 years left till you can retire.
40- All the best, Just 8 years left till the kids leave home and can you do some things just for you.
Your tits aint sagging yet, well done.

What do I say? I ask myself why is it always the women who have to get the presents , do the wrapping and write in the cards? Think I'll stick to just saying Happy Birthday, have a nice day.
40- 6 houses