Bear Attack

It's such a long drive, I eat sesame seeds, and try to take off the shells in my mouth with only my teeth. I can see how a cowboy could do this, without using his hands at all, the sort of man good at spinning a toothpick in his teeth, but it isn't happening for me. It gives me something to do, picking up the splintered shells.

I sit and flick through the leaflets I picked up in Mammoth as the dessert waves at me and the sun pretends.

LIVING WITH CALIFORNIA BEAR

I like the idea of being a woman who knows what to do when face to face to face with a bear, even though we are heading away from them. Nonetheless this is useful stuff I decide I need to know.

The leaflet says when face to face to with a bear:

Do not approach a bear, give it plenty of room.

If you come face to face with a bear

Do not run- You cannot outrun a bear, and running will trigger the bear's innate chase and hunt instinct.

If a bear approaches- Try to demonstrate to the bear that you may be a danger to it.

Make yourself BIG as possible. raise your arms, open your jacket

Make alot of noise, yell at the bear, and make as loud and threatening a sound as possible.

I sit in the car and try to imagine what i will do if a bear comes for me. I am a bit of a short arse, so the idea of me making myself big enough to scare a bear is impossible. Also I am no good at shouting, I can't imagine making a deep enough sound with my voice to sound ferocious to a bear. I sit in th car and practise growling. I wonder how big I can make myself be.

I practise every sound I have ever heard so see which would be most intimidating. I construct my bear facing personae. I decide that the scariest thing I can do to a bear is sing, when the bear comes I will start singing as loud as I can. Since I can't make myself very big I hold my arms above my head and dance, to the Tales of the Unexpected music. Me, la la la laing that old spooky music and dancing the Tales of the Unexpected Dance- that will be my stance. Maybe I will not appear scary to the bear in a conventional sense, but I might just be weird enough to freak it out. That is the plan.

VEGAS 100 miles